


Facade

by cywscross



Series: Tumblr Prompts 2015 [4]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fake Marriage, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, Off-screen Relationship(s), Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 23:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3187850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cywscross/pseuds/cywscross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>Anonymous asked: How about Skull from KHR and pretend to be married? Or another Arcobaleno like Fon? I wonder how this will turn out lol</strong>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Facade

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh this one’s difficult. I can’t see Skull being fake-married to anyone aside from when it’s required on an assignment or something, and even then… welp. I’ll give it a try. Not particularly lengthy this time.

“Reborn, I need you to be my husband!”

Skull does a spit-take from where he’s sprawled on one of the couches drinking hot cocoa and playing Angry Birds on his phone. Fortunately, the liquid misses the latter.

He gets a condescendingly unimpressed look from Reborn, and the only reason Skull doesn't start shouting is because the bastard turns back to an irritated Lal Mirch before he can.

“Finally smartened up and divorced your idiot for someone better?” Reborn drawls, getting a dirty look from Lal in response.

“Colonnello’s on a mission,” Lal clarifies curtly as she moves towards the side pantry to make herself a coffee. “And Decimo just gave me an assignment that couldn't wait. I have to go undercover on a week-long cruise hosted by a baron who’s trafficking drugs on the side, and he’ll be using this cruise to transport his next shipment. Problem is, it’s invite only, and the only two people Decimo’s Mist managed to abduct to switch places with two of ours is a married couple. So.” She leans against the counter, a steaming mug clutched between her hands. “Reborn, you’re my temporary husband.”

Reborn snorts softly with amusement, tipping up his fedora even as he shakes his head. “Normally, I wouldn't mind, but I have a prior engagement that I can’t miss.”

Lal’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t have any assignments, Reborn. I checked with Tsuna.”

“I didn’t say that, did I?” Reborn counters mildly. An exasperated expression flits across his face. “You specifically asked for me? Tsuna should've told you no anyway since it’s our one-year anniversary next week. I thought I’d take him to Venice for a few days but I haven’t told him. He probably thought I forgot.”

There’s a foreboding glint in Reborn’s eyes that makes Skull shudder with fear. The former Sun Arcobaleno’s probably planning to... _remind_ Tsuna that the greatest hitman in the world doesn't forget _anything_ , especially not something as important as an anniversary.

And if Reborn isn’t as intimidating as he is, Skull would tell the man to his face that he and Tsuna could be more revolting than Lal and Colonnello. Of course, if Skull really went through with that, he’ll die, so it’s much safer to simply keep that particular thought to himself.

“Ah,” Lal sighs but doesn't push. “Alright, fine.” She scans the room, gaze finding Fon next, who’s been watching the entire conversation with a serenely entertained expression on his face. “Fon, what about you? Feel up to a cruise?”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline as well, Lal,” Fon refuses apologetically. “I-Pin’s spring break starts in two days, and I promised her that I would clear my work schedule for the next week or so to spend some time with her.”

“Everybody’s going on vacation,” Lal grumbles half-heartedly. “Well who am I supposed to ask now, damn it?”

Skull perks up, waiting for Lal to ask him ( _But she won’t ask him, will she?_ ) because the others aren’t here, and he’s the only one left. The mansion’s been pretty quiet too, which means all of Decimo’s Guardians are away on business.

“Do you think Shamal’s busy?” Lal thinks out loud, not even glancing in Skull’s direction, her gaze skipping right over him as she looks between Fon and Reborn. “I might actually kill him before the mission’s over though, and that would blow our cover.”

Skull’s knuckles whiten for a moment with how hard he’s suddenly clutching his phone but he makes an effort to relax before straightening up and blurting out, “I could do it! I could go undercover with you, Lal- OW!”

A yo-yo of all things nails him in the head, knocking him backwards and right over the arm of the sofa that he’s leaning against, sending him crashing to the carpeted floor in a heap of limbs. “REBORN, YOU BASTARD-!”

“Shut up, lackey,” Reborn drawls lazily, reeling yo-yo Leon back in with a flick of his wrist. “Dressed like that? And being the whiny brat you are? The mission would be over before it even started.”

Skull seethes as he rights himself and rubs at his forehead. Sometimes, he could strangle Reborn, he really could, if he had the ability to. He honestly has _no idea_ what Tsuna sees in this guy.

“Yes, I can!” He protests, clambering to his feet. “I’m a professional stuntman! Sometimes, that means I'm an actor too! On stage! As a stunt double! Which means I get invited to _after-parties_ and _award_ _nominations_ , which means I gotta throw on a suit and tie! So yeah! I can-”

He dives out of the way just in time as a bullet wings past his left ear and embeds itself into the wall behind him. Thank god for those private sparring sessions that Tsuna’s been nice enough to arrange for the two of them. Decimo’s the only one Skull felt he could ask without being made fun of in the process.

“Missed me!” He screeches back, but he’s also smart enough to remain in hiding behind the couch. He waits for a couple seconds before peering out cautiously, relaxing only when he sees Lal pinning Reborn with a hard look, one hand curled around the hitman’s wrist. She doesn't think Skull is capable of much either, but at least she won’t hurt him for no reason.

Reborn returns her gesture with an irritated look but he lets Leon transform back into his chameleon form all the same.

Lal just rolls her eyes, brazen and unashamed, before turning back to Skull, expression critical but considering. “...You think you can dress the part? The leather’s going to have to go, as well as the piercings and the makeup and- just everything. You need to look respectable _and_ rich. And you need to act it too.”

She’s actually giving him a chance! Skull leaps to his feet and nods vigorously. “I can do that, Lal! I can handle it! I once filled in for a scene where I had to be at a party that was interrupted by a shootout, and then I had to leap from the second floor to the chandelier and then out the window. But I was dressed all proper for the entire thing, and I had to act the part of a loaded playboy-” He determinedly ignores Reborn’s disdainful scoff. “- _and_ I pulled it off so well that the director only needed to film that scene once!”

Lal hums noncommittally, still eyeing him with a mix of doubt and contemplation. “Alright, fine,” She nods at last, brisk and no-nonsense. “But if you mess this up...”

She even sets down her coffee just to crack her knuckles ominously. Skull gulps nervously and hastily nods again. “You got it, Lal! I won’t let you down!”

On the side, Fon gives him an encouraging smile. Reborn just rolls his eyes and returns to his book.

Bastard. In Skull’s opinion (not that anyone ever cared about that), Tsuna is _way_ too good for him.

 

* * *

 

The fantastic thing about being his own act on stage whenever he’s not working for an actual company or director – and therefore has people to do it for him – is that Skull knows how to dress himself. You’d be surprised how many people don’t. Hell, _Reborn_ doesn't. That narcissistic asshole wouldn't know how to dress down if it hit him with a clue-by-four.

But Skull knows. He knows how to dress down, dress up, dress punk, dress goth, dress _gentleman_ – whatever would please the crowd, which always rakes in more money.

So after carefully going over the every detail of the mission specs that Lal handed him, as well as checking out the pictures of the dress and other accessories that he got Lal to send him (because despite the fact that he kind of admittedly sucked at it, he’s still a fairly successful ex-Mafioso with twenty years of experience under his belt, and he knows how this shit is done), Skull gets to work.

He gets rid of the bandages, wipes away his makeup, takes out his piercings, and puts away his usual outfit. He takes a shower, and then gets to work picking out his clothes, taming his hair (to a degree), and generally slipping into the persona of a rich husband catering to his gorgeous wife’s every whim (because let’s face it, Skull will be following Lal’s lead on this mission no matter how well he can act). He picks out cologne – faint but there; not too strong – and he shines his shoes to perfection, all the while practicing facial expressions so that his typically more... animated behaviour is toned down to something haughty but still on the right side of likeable. He’s never quite been able to pull off charming, not the way Reborn can for some reason, but he can do likeable when he wants to.

Normally, he just doesn't. It’s a bother to keep himself all tucked in and boxed up and _socially acceptable_ , and Skull stopped caring about that sort of thing the second he first saw his future stretch out before him as a two-year-old with a very permanent case of death once their puppet master said so.

And even now that the curse has been broken, well, he may be a twenty-five-year-old in body, but mentally, he’s damn near fifty. He’s far too old to give a damn about acting less childish or becoming a hardcore assassin and shaping himself into something Reborn and Colonnello would approve of, even if shouting to be heard and getting on their nerves do tend to get him beaten up.

He’s got a sturdy body; he can stand it. It doesn't get him much in the ways of respect, but the mafia was never his line of work anyway. Unlike the others, he was never a criminal before the whole Arcobaleno debacle, so naturally, it wasn't something he excelled at like the others already were.

He’d like to see Reborn pull off consecutive quadruple flips through multiple rings of fire while juggling breakables and breathing out Cloud flames, all without a safety net.

When it comes to stunts, _no one’s_ better than Skull, not even Reborn, no matter how smart or talented the hitman is.

And when he shows up looking like the reflection he’s studying right now, Skull’s going to absolutely blow them away. Shocking his audience. Just the way he likes it.

 

* * *

 

“That idiot better not be late,” Lal growls, foot – in high heels – tapping the pavement where she’s waiting beside the limo that will take them to the coast. Reborn’s standing beside her, probably planning to point and mock.

“That’s what you get for trusting Skull with something this important,” Reborn interjects, proving her right.

A familiar voice interrupts them, layered with annoyance. “I _said_ I could handle this, Reborn-senpai.”

They both turn. Lal’s mouth – unforgivably – drops open for several embarrassing seconds. Even Reborn reacts, going still as stone, eyes widening minutely.

Skull steps out onto the street, forcing down a grin of pure glee and focusing on approaching Lal at a sedate but confident stride instead. “Well? How do I look?” He raises a hand. “I even got a ring to match yours, Lal.”

He’s dressed well. Not at all like his usual punkish self. His tie matches the colour of Lal’s dress, his dress shirt fits him comfortably, and he moves with the ease of someone who dresses like this every day.

Lal snaps her mouth shut with a click, and then she slants a glare over at Reborn when the hitman pulls out a regular gun and fires in one smooth motion. If the hitman ruins this in any way-

But Skull. Doesn't. Shriek. He doesn't yell. He doesn’t throw himself at Reborn with murderous intent. He twitches, a little more than necessary to avoid getting grazed by the bullet, but aside from a grimace, he only takes a deep breath before settling down again, arching a derisive eyebrow at Reborn instead as if asking why a lowly peasant was even _looking_ at him before glancing away in clear dismissal. The tilt of his head is just patronizing enough to pass for someone who’s been pampered all his life, and the slight slouch of his frame is relaxed just enough to show his disinterest in everything remotely beneath his superior station.

Lal is officially impressed. If Skull manages to stick with this for a week, she might even beat Reborn up herself the next time the hitman has a go at Skull, just to give Skull a break.

Beside her, Reborn stows away his gun and pulls down the brim of his fedora to shade his eyes. Lal almost laughs. Oh, this must _sting_.

She’s distracted when Skull leans forward, pulls open the door of the limo, and graciously offers her his hand, standing close enough for them to seem familiar with each other to outsiders, but still giving her a respectful bubble of space.

Skull smiles when she meets his gaze, almost charming in an impish sort of way, and carefree at the same time.

“Shall we go?” Skull prompts, and even his tone of voice is different, a little more smoothed out, with a touch of the innate authority that the privileged tend to carry.

Lal smirks, taking Skull’s hand. Their respective rings wink under the sun. “Let’s. This cruise should be interesting, husband.”

A flash of Skull’s characteristic cockiness shines through for just a second. “I can handle it.”

Lal believes him this time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> **Please leave a review on your way out.**


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